Ridiculous Hip Hop Scenarios - The Game vs Jay-Z Beef

By KNL

For this spanking new piece of TheRapBuzz journalism and play writing (oh yeah), KNL has documented and authored some of the craziest "what if" scenarios for us. In the first hip hop scene, we have The Game and Jay Z discussing their recent beef...get comfortable people, lights down, curtain open...

*Knock on the door*

Jay: Come in!

Game: Wassup You Camel Face Biatch, I been waiting for such a long time and tonight is the night like Deep Cover.

Jay: Look Jayceon...

Game: Uh...uh...uh...didn't you hear my albums trick, my name is Game...address me as the Game...don't forget my name *signals to his assistant*...eh write that down I'm a put that line in my next track.

Jay: Look 'Game'...I don't know why you got a beef with me, I'm just doing my thang...you know I'm too old for this shit. I got a young woman every other rapper wanna jump on, I got a wife every other rapper also wanna jump on, I got 99 problems with my bitches mayn...look at me, I'm wearing slippers and I aint even cut my hair....can't you see I got enough on my plate already.

Game: Nuh...uh Sean, I aint showing you no mercy...I'ma come out with this 'Fuck Jay-Z' thing it's gonna be big...Big like Biggie, the Notorious Biggie from Brooklyn *signals to his assistant* eh-yo write that shit down, I'm a put that name-drop in my next song.

Jay: Look son, I already told you before when you had that shit with Bleek...I don't know why you doing this Game, you really wanna do this?

Game: I'm a just do it like Nike homie *signals to his assistant* eh-yo write that shit down man. You aint even ready, I got like 600 bars for you Jay...I used up 3 of my ink pens I got from my mama, I'm from Compton. I'm from Compton, which is right here *pulls out map*...in LA...you can ask these guys, I Have their numbers...I swear I'm from Compton and I'm a blood...look I got the certificate and everything.

Jay: Look, the whole beef thing, all this shit, I'm done with it...can't you see I'm an old ass man now...I aint got time to do another Takeover dude...you dissing a wall here Game. A wall. I already spoke to Dre, he told me how you turned bi-polar and started crying n shit...

Game: What...

Jay: Yeah son, Andre told me how you starting getting all weird, asking him if he was looking at 50 when your head was turned...he said you accused him of spending too much time with the rest of the guys...he told me how he found your scrap book and diary...he even e-mailed me the entry...look I got it here: "Dear Diary, Day 23 in the Aftermath house. 50 Cent got to use the mic first today, I don't know why Dre let him use it first. I was so excited about it. And then at lunch, 50 took some of my french fries and I complained to Dre, Dre told me to stop whining like a bitch so I went upstairs to my room and now I'm sitting her alone. I sure miss Eazy, I never met him but I feel he is with me at times, in the shower, at nap time. I got to go record Hate it or Love it, hopefully Dre will use my lyrics not 50s...I got like 20 rappers names on Google and put all of their names in my rhyme."

Game: How the fuck did you get that Sean? Where the fuck do you get the balls to read my Diary? Ah I've had it with you Mr. Carter...you make me sick. I'm just...I'm just...I'm just so upset right now. I'm going to call Dre right now.....I'll put it on speakerphone

*Phone rings*....'I'm sorry but this number no longer exists'

Jay: Game. The Game's Over....*signals to his assistant (Drake)*...'eh yo write that down, that's gonna be the Bonus track in my next album.

Game: Please Jay, don't mention this to anyone. I'll do a guest spot for you...look don't you want me on the D.O.A remix...I'll do anything man.

Jay: Well I'll tell you what, just sign this piece of paper here and we can end this write here.

Game: Cool man, eh yo for real...lemme just tell you, you're a great guy...I told 50 before, I said...hey that guy Jay, he's a good guy. I like you Jay. We should hang out.

*signs paper...Jay picks up his phone...*

Jay: Cindy...get Diddy on the line....he just got another rappers career fucked up with a slavery Bad Boy contract...

Game: I'm a be on Bad-Boy....oh my god like Biggie....*signals to assistant* call the guys, call the bloods and call the girls...we are so going to celebrate.

*Game leaves the room...Jay picks up the phone*

Jay: Andre....yeah...he just left....looks like the only time you'll see him on TV next year is Making the Band. See you at Golf.

Applause

More to come people, you like?

Rap's Dynamic Duos - Part 2

Image Credit


By KNL

Eric B and Rakim

It's been a long time...Rakim to me is one of the very best, if not a contender for the top spot and not least because of his viscious wordplay and effortless flow. It's more to do with the fact that this guy was gangster without actively promoting it; he didn't have to get tough on the mic because the music took care of it for him...and thus he was able to gather a wider variety of fans than say Mobb Deep, because you could respect him for his skills as well as his gangster. With Eric B alongside, it meant Ra had someone who fully understood what sounded nice when he was on the mic. As a result, this Duo were able to craft some of the most incredible hip-hop anthems; it's a shame they had to part ways...but nevertheless, we can never forget.

GangStarr

Rakim sounded awesome when laced over Premo beats. Someone who sounded even better though was Guru, of whom with Dj Premier formed the formidable GangStarr. Even after 20 something years in the game, Guru can kick it with many of today's top MCs....with an almost effortless flow and a way of spitting aggressive rhymes without having to raise his voice, Guru's flow melts like butter on a hot Premo track. It is often the dream of many hip hop fans to have their favourite producer hook up with a dope MC; GangStarr is one of the very finest examples. Their catalog of incredible albums and sizzling tracks mean GangStarr are firmly forged into hip hop history.

Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg

Following on from pairing a dope producer with a sick MC comes a slightly different pair. Snoop Dogg is not really an MC as such, and neither is Dre...but this pair had something that most of the other duos on this list could only dream about - hit making chemistry which refuses to die. When Snoop Dogg signed up to Death Row in the 90s, Dr. Dre took him under his wing and (cleverly) promoted Snoop through himself and then Executive Produced one of the finest albums of all time, Snoop's 'Doggy Style'. What followed was a string of hits and an incredible catalog of platinum selling albums from the pair. Dre used Snoop's hype on The Chronic and Snoop took advantage of Dre's stellar production on Doggy Style, a few years down the line Dre returned with Chronic 2001 of which once again was heavily graced by Snoop...will Detox be the same? I'm pretty sure we can count on it, with Dre and Snoop both helping each other blow up throughout their careers...I reckon we're all itching to see if that same chemistry still exists. Pay homage.

Dr. Dre and Eminem

Snoop helped propel Dre's Chronic. Em did much the same (if not more) with Chronic 2001. And then surprise surprise, Dre graced Eminem's following LPs with Executive Production credits and guest spots to add that 'legend' status. And why not? Team up arguably the best producer alongside arguably the best rapper and what do you have? A dream come true for any fan of good music...Dre's versatility meant Em could switch the mood of his rhymes depending on the instrumental he'd been handed...and whilst Premo beats (no matter how dope) seem to suit a set tone or mood' Dre's ability to experiment meant Eminem now features an incredible catalog of LPs which vary in terms of moods so much you'd swear they came from a different artist. When these two paired up on the mic, they managed to provide a father-son type chemistry which is still unmatched by many of their imitators - Guilty Conscious, My Name Is, Forgot About Dre....must I go on?!

Part 3 on its' way...

Rap's Dynamic Duos - Part 1

Image Credit

By KNL

In another one of his brilliant hip hop essays, KNL looks at some of the best rap duos to have graced our stereos. The duo has been a typical formation for many rap groups, and often the individuals have not been able to re-create the same magic via solo efforts...there's something special in two emcees sharing verses and hooks. So have a read and let us know what you think!

Big Boi and Andre 3000

I don't really need to justify why these two deserve to be on this list. Their sales figures and worldwide mass appeal speaks for itself. Trust me on this one, finding an Outkast hater is for the most part only possible amongst KKK Rallys and related events.

The simple fact is that Big Boi and Andre 3000 are so great because if we knew them individually; we would never have imagined putting them together. Big Boi is known for more of a conventional quick and witty flow with a typical southern slant on things. Three Stacks is rather known for his eccentricity, ability to step out the box, and a flow which is able to adapt for all genres. What Outkast do so well however, is attract more than just hip hop fans to the frey...all you have to do is check out their SpeakerBoxx/Love Below albums to see that on their own they were able to get clubs pumping with tracks like 'I like the way you move' and then start a frenzie with 'Hey Ya'.

Simply put, Outkast are one of the most diverse and adaptable Rap Duos anywhere who are able to stay with the times and if need be, start a new trend. With the amount of bullshit coming outta the South, it seems a shame we forget about one of the most talented groups in MUSIC let alone Hip Hop period. What's more, they managed to keep their relevance high at all times - definitely contenders for that number one spot!

Redman and Method Man

Affectionately referred to as 'Red & Meth', these two were tight way before Blackout! and this relationship shines when it comes to their performance on and off the mic. As well as their successful ventures on the small and big screen; Red & Meth have kept it real on the mic.

What's so special about these two is that both seem to bring out the best in each other; Redman is a controversial, humerous and laid back figure whilst Method Man brings in the classic Wu Tang swagger and slightly more aggressive rhymeplay into the scheme. Both artists are superstars in their own right despite not being able to hold down equally successful solo careers; their work has been solid if not spectacular yet when together the creativity and magic seems to come out as if from nowhere. What does that tell me? That tells me that this is one of hip hops truest duos, two super heros who only have their magic powers when used together...like some hip hop Power Rangers. Or some shit (editor's note - umm, yeah, power rangers).

Mobb Deep

At one point or another, any aspiring MC of the era was infront of his mirror mimicking the Infamous and lip-syncing Shook Ones (...what only me??) With a viscious flow and a tag-team rota on the mic, Mobb Deep bought gangster lyrics and hardcore beats to the forefront of Hip Hop. Prodigy and Havoc had a winning formula, and as small a niche it might have been, these two have milked it accordingly. Whilst they will never be awarded for their creativity when compared to acts like Outkast, what they do have is a now infamous chemistry which had many of your favourite rappers shaking in their boots at one time or another.

So why do Mobb Deep get my vote; well check your gangster rappers now (what's left of them) and tell me who's still bringing it how they did in the mid-90s...Snoop is rocking a turban and flying around on magic carpets...Prodigy and Havoc are still keeping it 100% QB, and even if their recent efforts haven't hit the mark, their lifelong consistency speaks for itself. You heard it from the TheRapBuzz, the infamous, you heard of us!

BDP

Boogie Down Productions for me laid down the benchmark, the perfect formula of which many would follow for years to come. KRS-One was the lyrical don whilst Scott La Rock bought the notes and melodies...leaving you with a perfect combination. Many cite the birth of Gangster Rap with Dr. Dre, NWA, Death Row and the West Coast....yes Gangster Rap started there. But Gangster Hip-Hop started with KRS grabbing a gun on his album cover when Dre was rocking a silver suit. But it takes more than being gangster to grace my list...KRS One bought us infamously simple yet catchy hooks combined with compelling story-telling lyrics and a clear delivery.

Criminal Minded was an incredible album which still influences your favourite artist today, the fact remains that BDP birthed what the rich white men are marketing now - and show us what it would be like without ever increasing commercial influence. Let us not forget those battle tracks (see The Bridge is Over and South Bronx) which had even Queen's natives chanting 'Queens keeps on faking it'...because whether you liked it or not, BDP was cold. Unfortunately Scott La Rock was murdered just before Criminal Minded's release in 1987...it is obvious that BDP would have been incredibly huge had he lived on to carry on the magic.

UGK

Now Southern Rap is everywhere you look and hear, infact it's become an irritation and constantly pointed to as the 'hip hop killer'. However when Southern Rap was merely a spec on the radar, Pimp C and Bun B bombarded the industry with a unique swag and use of slang unheard in hip hop prior to their arrival.

Pimp C was particularly potent with his production style which made them stand out from the crowd before they even graced the microphone. Known for being more melodic and featuring what would become typical Southern traits of hip hop production style, Bun B accompanied him perfectly with a decent flow capable of switching tempo but still maintaining constantly sound lyricalism and the odd rewind-worthy metaphor too. They were accepted all over and furthermore became widely acknowledged and respected; Jay-Z's Big Pimpin is a briliant example of the duo adding their unique flow to a super-mainstream hit, and shows their versatility. It's a shame that the South been f***ing up the scene recently, but all it does is highlight UGK's legacy even more. RIP Pimp C


Part 2 on its' way...

Wu-Tang Lego: Da Mystery of Chessboxin'

Wu-Tang Lego: Da Mystery of Chessboxin' from davo on Vimeo.

Simply fantastic. What next? Big Poppa or Californa Love?

The Hip Hop Government Dream Team - Part 2

By KNL

Department of Labour: Lupe Fiasco

Looking after the people is important, and currently Lupe seems to be in touch with the masses making him an ideal candidate for this position. His blend of touching rhymes designed to appeal to everyone (not just ballers and gangsters) makes him perfect for protectiong the rights of the working man. He is not only a spokesperson for the unheard, he is a breath of fresh air in a Cabinet mostly occupied with fatcats who look like they may have lost touch.

Department of Health and Human Services: James Todd Smith

Despite many believing he was one of the major components when forming the basic Cabinet, politics and a lack of support have pushed James to managing Health issues. Dedicated to keeping himself in tip top shape, Smith is responsible for ensuring that hip hop remains as healthy as possible. Whilst his past work cannot be disputed, his more recent efforts have shown that the emphasis on health has become more superficial; his demanding ego and internal issue with Carter means he is unlikely to find himself playing a major role in the future, unfortunately it looks as if that time has passed.

Department of Housing and Urban Development: Reginald Noble

If you known Reggie, you remember MTV Cribs and the dump he called home. So who better to help improve the state of housing and urban development than Red Man?! With objectives such as ensuring every front door actually features a piece of glass and that everyone’s freezer is stocked with frozen fish gourmet meals; Reggie ensures that hip hop followers will live in better environments. Going back on his previous slogan of “Smash something” and “Dirty”, Reggie is now concentrating on how to clean up properties, instead of breaking them.

Department of Transportation: Alvin “Xzibit” Joiner

This one is a given, now that he’s done with Pimp My Ride, he’s definitely going to be the one in charge when it comes to pimping the Cabinets cars. Highlights include a marijuana farm in Calvin Braudus’ limo, a diamond mine complete with slave workers in Paul Wall’s Escalade and a mini Police HQ in Rick Ross’s Maybach. Some say his transportation aims miss the true hip hop followers and appeal to a lucky few; but with keen support from surrounding officials he is unlikely to go anytime soon.


Department of Energy: Christopher Bridges

This may be seen as a “ludacris” appointment but in reality few names bring as much energy and pump when they release new material. So it was only natural when Chris was handed over the reigns in ensuring the energy is kept running and healthy in the world of hip hop, with successful commercial ties to all of the big names; Chris has ensured his loyal followers are never left behind. Thanks to his worldwide appeal, he’s bringing worldwide energy to the Cabinet.


Department of Education: Nasir Jones

Whilst this was a sure spot for Lauryn Hill, her willingess to hide away from the spotlight brings Nasir Jones into the picture. With an aim of teaching kids the truth behind America’s success and motives, Nasir aims to bring a curriculum rather different from what white America would want. Nasir’s objectives include introducing Advanced Beef Production and Conscious Commercial Success into the curriculum; he is backed by the biggest names but many once loyal followers question his credibility. Can he teach like he used to?

The Hip Hop Government Dream Team - Part 1

Image Credit

By KNL

With Barack Obama taking over office, I’ve been meaning to do this for a long, long time. Now it’s here; the answer I’m sure you’ve all been looking for...what would happen if Hip Hop’s royalty decided to take the step for a Presidential race?! Well folks, here it is!

Department of State: Shawn Corey Carter

With previous experience in seeing Roc-A-Fella elevate to hip hop stardom, and a breif stint in the Def Jam hot seat; Shawn is not short of experience when it comes to leadership. He is just short of leading the campaign due to his knack of annoying certain sections of hip hop’s elite factions ensuring there is never enough support for him to take the higest throne. Positive attributes include a good relationship with important people both inside and outside the hip hop community, crossover appeal and an ability to fatten the party’s pockets through unlimited ventures. Controversies include the fact he is constantly accused of quoting a certain deceased central figure; and his ability to break strong ties with some of his strongest fans leaving some with the opinion that he should be kept at arm’s length only. Internal power stuggles between him and other members of the Cabinet have also increased jealousy among his rivals.

Department of the Treasury: Sean Combs

Sean Combs comes with not only a wealth of experience and important historical consensus thanks to his previous ties with Sir Wallace; he also comes with an ability to look after money better than most of his associates. Who better to look after the economy than one of hip hop’s richest? Known to be extravagant, close sources suggest that Mr Combs will strengthen the budget with some eyebrow raising commercial ventures. Often inviting some of the world’s elite to his famous parties, Sean Combs is reportedly in friendly competition with Secretary of State Carter; however recent popularity stakes have made him less electable and so he has to stick with running hip hop’s economy.

Department of Defense: Curtis Jackson

Young, fresh and relatively new to the game. Curtis’ ability to tie down enemies through good old American repression and threats of violence have made him famous as a force to be reckoned with. Surely rogue nations will think twice before launching those test nukes with Curtis calling the shots? His cocky attitude has had its moments of brilliance, but he is not shy of controversy and confrontation both in and out of the cabinet. He will surely smile for the cameras, and many outsiders may not know it, but in the back of Curtis’ mind is a surefire plan to oust Combs and Carter for the future big spot; watch this space.

Department of Justice: Russel Simmons

With a huge wealth of experience behind him, and one of the very beginners in hip hop’s world domination, Russel is now a famously inept peacemaker and a firm beleiver in honest and peaceful resolutions. His running of the justice department includes famously recruiting Curtis Jackson in his Yoga program to help calm his war starting instincts and hanging up leadership of a powerful venture only to find it slowly dying in the wake of competition. Famous for bringing Todd Smith into the hip hop’s elite, he has since lost his strong ties with many of his once close associates including Todd Smith and Clifford Smith.

Department of the Interior: DMC

Looking after the interior means looking after the indigenous people of hip hop, and who better than one of the freshest originals to grace our ears. DMC’s responsibilities include maintaining a healthy relationship with the original fans of hip hop and trying to make sure the hip hop ideology doesn’t exclude this endagoured minority; his strong relationships with much of the hip hop elite and an all-round respect put him on a plateu unmatched by his peers. Perhaps not feared, but he is definitely respected.

Department of Agriculture: Bubba Sparxxx

Rarely focussed on by the hip hop cabinet, the suprise appointment of Bubba Sparxxx was fuelled mostly by the fact there was not much competition for the job. Roles include ensuring hip hop’s appeal doesn’t escape the countryside and ensuring a healthy crop of future country-rap talent. His close ties with Timothy in the Cabinet mean he is often respected despite his humble and unconventional origins.

Department of Commerce: Pharrell Williams

Focussing on future growth of hip hop, Pharrell is constantly bringing a new sound and nurturing new talent to ensure the genre expands and grows as far as possible. With his respective group the Neptunes, we have witnessed not only 5-star quality but brilliant album releases designed to appeal to the masses. Whilst some purists disagree with the tactics, Williams is an integral piece of the puzzle; not only is he respected by Carter, Combs and Young, he’s also seen as a huge pinnacle in the music industry as a whole.

Part 2 coming soon...

Relapse - Fresh thoughts off the first listen

Yes, we're going to do it differently. There's hundreds of reviews and free downloads of Relapse available online...but we're going to review it fresh off the first spin of the album on Spotify. Call it freestlye reviewing lovely people...

So, the first thought that strikes your mind is fu*k me it's been four years but he hasn't lost his flow. The absolutely breathtaking rhyme juggling on all tracks keeps you focused on his insane lyrics throughout the minutes of the album. Is there anyone out there who can match him??

The second thought is insane. Slim Shady has always been a crazy one, but on Relapse Em takes his alter ego to the next level. He is fully aware of this, couldn't care less and has some hardcore explicit in your face fun with it. True parental advisory horror sh*t, you're warned (just in case you weren't expecting this)

The third thought is the beats. Yes it's Dre, yes of course they're good...but I don't know. Was expecting something more evolved here to carry that mad twisting flow of his.

To wrap it up, I really had no idea what to expect. What I got was an evolved top of the class flow, fun rhymes, the same ol Em lyrics (with maybe more of a drug swing this time round) and Dre's beats. It ain't new or innovative, but it ain't bad at all. Simple true hardcore headbangin Eminem rap. Go and buy it, he still is one of the best.

The Perfect 50 Cent Album - Part 2

By KNL

Track: Gunz Come Out

Album: The Massacre

Why?

Simple really. Listen to the beat and feel the sheer aggressiveness of it. Then couple such dopeness with Mr Angry himself and you got a sure fire banger. Produced by the good doctor, it leaves no guesses as to who was behind the boards. Whilst the track may be pretty mindless in certain aspects, this is essentially what 50 does best *anything is better than one of the ladies *. The chorus is also undeniably a catchy one, go on try to stop yourself from humming along…!

Killer Opening Lines:

“I do this all the time, stuck with a little shine/ Walk with a little nine, case I get in a bind/ They say I'm fuckin' crazy, they think I'm out my mind/ Cause I'm down to bust a nigga head all the time…”

Track: I’m Supposed to Die Tonight

Album: The Massacre

Why?

Here 50 takes us into dark scenery and it almost seems like a movie coming out of your stereo. The track on its own is bare and pretty ordinary as an instrumental, it’s Curtis who managed to add an undeniable magic from the catchy hook to the haunting lines, showing the bare truth of what goes on behind the glitz and glamour. Listening to this track puts you in the same mind frame that Many Men did on Get Rich…it seems 50 has never had to stop watching his back.

Killer Opening Lines:

“This is nothin' new, I been in the position before

Grandma crib, niggas outside of her door

Different day, same shit, old mac, new clip

Thirty two hollow tips, gloves, no rubber grip

I'm a boss, but niggas never show no respect

I catch 'em slippin', I have 'em tongue kissin' my tec

Wanna come, test me, pussy boy don't try it

Police response never fast enough to shots fired”

And now on to Curtis, by far 50’s biggest disappointment…musically and commercially. But nonetheless there’s some shit on there that’s worth taking note of.

Track: Ayo Technology

Album: Curtis

Why?

Yeah I know it’s a Justin collabo, but don’t deny you weren’t feeling it before you had to hear it 3 million times everywhere you went. Timbaland backed 50 with a superstar collabo that was guaranteed to be a success. Hate it or love it, the clubs love 50 and he’s going to need to keep up the pace with his commercial fans and what better than another sure fire collabo backed by a fine beat ready to hit the clubs and make 50 even more of a household name. 

Killer Opening Lines: (Not really such a killer thought…)

“She work it girl, she work the pole

She break it down, she take it low

She fine as hell, she about the dough

She doing here thing out on the floor

Her money money, she makin’ makin’

Look at the way she shakin’ shakin’

Make you want to touch it, make you want to taste it

Have you lustin for her, go crazy face it…”

Track: Man Down

Album: Curtis

Why?

So I hear 50’s coming back hard right? Those joints with Premo etc seem to see him checking his past and coming back to what made him famous…bullet proof gangster shit! And so why not push the boundaries yet again by referencing things most rappers today are too scared to put in their lyrics. This track was so explicit even the Parental Advisory labelled album had to have it censored. With references to murdering police officers, this track is almost impossible to find in uncensored form…I have it though, and trust me the kid doesn’t know when to stop!

Killer Opening Lines:

“These cocksucking police got it in for me

They flash their lights the wanna rough me up

Frisk me find my burner, then cuff me up

But history repeats itself, they never learn

The Unit’s the new people who gon be able to burst

Huh, we’ll find out when niggaz let off the rounds

And this partner screamin officer down…”

Track: 187

Album: Curtis

Why?

Because it’s the same generic hardcore shit that 50 does best, honestly the beat is fire thanks to Havoc and takes us way back to the old 50 once again. Shame the lyrics weren’t on point, but I wanna see something like this as an album filler rather than the throwaway beats 50 tends to pick these days. Lyrically this was quite a bit better than the rest of the Curtis album…with all the time Before I Self Destruct is taking, let’s hope to see something along the lines of tracks like this!

Killer Opening Lines:

“I was a snotty nose, nappy head, dirtball nigga

Sayin I can't wait 'til I get a little bigger

After niggaz jumped me, bumpin my head

Thinkin I wish I had a gun I fill a nigga with lead

Took a kitchen knife to [censored] fin' to poke me a nigga

Wishin I had a gun so I could smoke me a nigga

Sold my first five quarter gram pieces in the alley

Where Bizzy had the Bondeville and Kev had the Caddy

Now those were the days, when crime really paid

The nine milli sprayed, I got the fuck out the way

From shootout to shootout, the bricks went fast

Robberies went bad, niggaz got blast”

The Perfect 50 Cent Album - Part 1

By KNL

Ok so you don’t need to be a genius to work out that 50 Cent has an album coming out soon. With numerous freestyles and admittedly hot promotional tracks circling the internet and radio, there is much talk of the old 50 being back.

Now as much as this would be appreciated, we gotta wonder if Mr Cent can really capture that gutter-appeal magic he graced us with when he first hit the scene…some of us are sceptical, but for the most part we’re hopeful. To celebrate the fact that Mr 2 Quarters is returning to old form, I’ve decided to go back and revisit his old albums and pick the best cuts to construct my own perfect 50 cent album! I’m going to start with his pre-‘Get Rich’ days and then finish off with his last effort, “Curtis”…so let’s see what it would take to make me really Self Destruct!

Track: F*** You

Album: Guess Who’s Back

Why?

With 50’s back to the wall and constant criticism of how he’s fallen off, not to mention the fact that G-Unit’s sales have been really shit, whilst losing out in sales to foes Kanye and Wayne…what better way to strike back by putting up a middle finger and just spitting straight aggressive bars at the competition? This has got be one of my all-time favourite tracks from any artist, never mind 50 cent…it combined thoughtful and deep lyrics with a typically testosterone filled aggression that 50 Cent has become famous for. There is no better way for 50 Cent to bite back at critics and enemies alike than by saying these very simply 2 words. And even if the lyrics aren’t incredible, the flow is undoubtedly one of the best we have ever seen from the rapper you love to hate.

Killer Opening Lines:

“Either I’m tripping off of ecstacy, or I can feel the world turning/ I’m having flashbacks, I can feel the shells burning/ Coming up, I was taught never back down/ That’s why I act the way I act now/Hold the Mack Down…”

Track: Heat

Album: Get Rich or Die Trying

Why?

In my opinion, this is when we see 50 Cent at his best. He may sound clumsy on a love track, and he may look stupid when trying to relate to a pop audience…but when it comes to ‘shoot em up’ appeal, he fits his acclaimed niche nicely. This track was perfect before he spat bars, purely down to the fact the good Dr. Dre was behind the boards…50 Cent however managed to kill this track with some suitably hardcore lyrics that did this beat justice. I want to see this track so he can remind us of how good his story telling techniques once were, and how he was able to do an Andre Young beat pure justice. The track Heat is pure fire!! (no pun intended)

Killer Opening Lines:

“Keep thinking I’m caine/ Till your skull get popped/ And your brain come out the top/ Like Jack in the Box/ In the hood, summer time is the killing season/ It’s hot out this bitch, that’s a good enough reason/ I see gangsters get religious when they start bleeding/ Saying Lord Jesus help me…coz they’re ass leaking…”

Track: Life’s On the Line

Album: Get Rich or Die Trying

Why?

So I hear Lil Wayne recently mentioned Fifty in one of his tracks? Let me ask you something interesting…if we saw the old 50, the one that super-hoed Ja-Rule, do you think Weezy even stands a chance if the 50-cent of old is let out the cage? I severely doubt it. This is not only one of my favourite 50 tracks, it’s one of my favourite diss records period. How can you not love the aggressive lines, catchy hook and the way he almost seems to toy with the idea of fucking with Ja-Rule as if it really means nothing to him. With the beef with Ricky Ross getting more serious, Kanye being a constant thorn in the side and Lil Wayne referencing him yet again, we need a track like this to set the tone once again. Come on Fiddy, get them gloves out!!

Killer Opening Lines:

“I came into rap humbly/ I don't give a fuck now I'll serve anybody like niggas who hustle uptown/ The coke price go up/ Cats just come down/ The D's run in my crib/ I'm nowhere to be found/ Niggas who hustle for me/ They don't even stash cracks/ They keep it on 'em/ Right there in they ass crack/ I don't like a nigga/ I don't pretend to/ I'll Have the paramedics wrappin' your fuckin' head like a Hindu”

Track: In Da Club

Album: Get Rich of Die Trying

Why?

Look we’re not stupid, 50 needs to hit commercial success too whilst keeping hip hop fans at bay, and with nemesis Wayne currently hitting billboard charts with hits such as A Millie and Lollipop, he needs to find something that will appeal to as many people as possible. He needs Dr. Dre. He needs to get back in the club. To be honest, 50 cent hasn’t been able to recreate such a club anthem since this track (Out of Control remix came close). He was still talking tough, but he was being cheeky and chilled at the same time. The most played out song of all played out songs is still a classic in any club you bump it in, face it Wayne/Fat Joe/Camron/Nas/Rick Ross (who was ‘working’ in prisons at the time) you were all rubbing yourself over this when it came on. 

Killer Opening Lines:

“When I pull up out front, you see the Benz on dubs/ When I roll 20 deep, it’s 20 knives in the club/ Niggas heard I fuck with Dre, now they wanna show me love/ When you sell like Eminem you get plenty of groupie love..”

Track: Many Men

Album: Get Rich or Die Trying

Why?

Given 50’s clear history of violence, Many Men set the tone of 50’s struggle and a constant sense of dangerous living thanks to a brilliant beat and catchy but depressing hook. On the track 50 cent bites back at his enemies and gives a peak of life from the eyes of the man behind the gun. It would be nice to hear the same deep 50 come back, especially if the moral of “more money, more problems” is true because we all know he’s got shit loads of the good stuff. Come on 50, let us in to what’s going on in your mind again…

Killer Opening Lines:

“Now these pussy niggaz putting money on my head/ Go on and get your refund motherfucker, I ain't dead/ I'm the diamond in the dirt, that ain't been found/ I'm the underground king and I ain't been crowned…”

Track: In My Hood

Album: The Massacre

Why? 

I gotta be fair to 50, I didn’t think the Massacre was such a bad album, it just had some really shitty cuts lying here and there (Candy Shop, Disco Inferno et al)…but dig deep and skip the commercial hits and you will find that the Curtis never left. In My Hood is a deep and provocative track that gives you a sneak peak into Southside Queens and the many ills and tragedies that occur in his native hood. Despite the modern content, the beat is absolutely incredible giving it an old gangster like feel. The lyrics are on point and it seemed 50 needed this track to remind us just where he came from, I wanna see him shout out Queens again. Not in the LL Cool J way (irrelevant), but in the Nas way…and this is the way to do it. Go ahead and represent.

Killer Opening Lines:

“I'm from Southside mothafucka, where the gats explode/ If you feel like you on fire, boy drop and roll/ niggas'll heat ya ass up cause they heart turns cold/ Now you can be a victim or you can lock and load…”


Part 2 coming soon...

The 8 Most Unlikely Hip Hop Albums

Image Credit

TheRapBuzz is back, yes, yes , yes. It's been a crazy few months of mad random chaos for our hungry team of writers...but the excruciatingly long wait is finally over (aight) and good ol' KNL is riding our pages again with another one of his sparkiling written gems...The 8 Most Unlikely Hip Hop Albums....word people, more to come. Over to KNL...

With the ludicrous acts that seem to pop up every single day in the world of urban music, this post, was, kind of...inevitable.

50 Cent and Ja Rule – Curtis Atkins (The Duet Edition)

Following their troubled past and their heated battle, 50 Cent finally reaches out to his Southside native resident and decides to form a Jay & Nas like truce to end the long standing feelings and resurrect Ja Rule’s career. With Ja signed to G-Unit, 50 Cent pushes this album forward and comes up with something for the ladies with this auto-tune free album. The cleverly named “Curtis Atkins” Duet Edition features the pair singing like they’ve never quite sang before...

 

Memphis Bleak – Greatest Hits

Enough said really. An album ready for the bargain bin at your nearest supermarket. Is there even a solo ‘hit’ to put on there? (ah harsh KNL, harsh - editor's note of the day)

 

Lil Wayne and Baby – Lick my Lollipop

After the runaway success that was the auto-tune crazed Lollipop, Weezy decides that it just simply isn’t enough and claims in an online interview that, “Even after our kiss….even after we did that shit on screen, even after that Lollipop tune…enough people still didn’t get that the song was about me wanting to get on a Lollipop…it puzzles me how y’all so thick these days…” Following these comments, Weezy quickly released The Carter 19.5 and then announced a follow up album that would be a Homo-Rock-Pop-Singing-Rnb-HipHop-Album featuring mentor Baby. The witty titled Lick my Lollipop album featured hits such as “A Millie (before taxes Remix)” and “Don’t get too Comfortable (in my tight jeans)”.

 

LL Cool J and Dr. Dre – Botox

Following the superb Detox album, and the rather shit Exit 13 album from Dre and LL respectively, the duo decided to pair up and make a joint effort due to their shared love of fitness regimes, pills and questionable alterations in physique/facial attributes. The Botox album features Dre mostly behind the boards, but not without a few LL ghostwritten tracks, however it’s mostly LL who graces the mic. Hits on this album include “I’m Still D.R.E (even though you don’t recognise me)”, “Let’s Get Botox” and “Calling Dr. Dre to Surgery (for LL’s Botox)”.

 

DMX – Who Am I?

DMX has had his fair share of shit to deal with over the past year or so, but his return to form has been marked by this credible album aptly named “Who Am I?”. Whilst the name at first enchanted and attracted fans into a possible insight of why DMX had been acting as he had; it was in fact just an album with 12 tracks featuring DMX asking who he was. With great lyrics such as “Who Am I (WHAT!) Am I a Man, Am I a Dog? (WHAT!) I don’t know who I am. But I know that I can bark (ARGH!)” 11 Songs all questioning Damian’s identity must have been puzzling for fans, but there are some gems such as “Who Am I?” “Where Am I?” “How Did I Get Here” and “I’m Arrested Again.”

 

Rick Ross – Diary of a Correctional Officer / Big Time Drug Dealer Guy

Following much of the controversy around Ross’s troubled past, Ricky decided to market the whole thing and document it on an album. Diary of shows Rick Ross’s life story moving as a humble correctional officer onto a drug kingpin with ties to the most powerful people in the game. Hot cuts include “Everyday I’m Struggling”, “I’m Still Fat, no Lying” and “Thug Dietician (feat. Young Jeezy)”

 

Young Jeezy – Global Warming

Quick to grab the latest trends, Jeezy knew where he was going with this one. Having heard enough bout the Recession and naming his last album after it, Jeezy releases “Global Warming” in an effort to raise awareness on the issue. Hot tracks include “My President is Black, My Lambo Pollutes” and “Pricey (Gasoline remix)” and the club anthem “I Put Out” featuring and aptly named by Kanye West in his attempt to finally push the final boundaries of homophobia in Hip Hop.

 

Fat Joe & R Kelly – Elephant in the Closet

Thanks to recent successes on both parts, Fat Joe teams up with Kells on this surefire hit album featuring Joey spitting rhymes and Kelly singing hooks. Reminiscent of the Best of Both Worlds album, Fat Joe seeks to take his storytelling abilities to the levels possessed by R Kelly. The title track, Elephant in the Closet was hyped to involve a story revolving around Joey watching drama unfold from behind a closer door. It was in fact, a story of how Fat Joe walked into a closet but could not get out; R Kelly puts it so well in his verse “So I said what the hell you doing in there…Joey said he was stuck…I said why did you go in there…Joey said, what the fuck? Why you asking all these damn questions mayne…just hurry up and call the Fire Brigade…."